Julie & Julia

Julia Child frowns upon Julie's useless life

I wrote this on 12/21/09.  Like anyone cares.

Certain things are a cause for inspiration. Taxation without representation. Wondering about the possibility of life beyond the confines of Earth. And, for me, seeing an awful movie about blogging is a good enough trigger.
This movie, Julie & Julia, is based on a blog. I am now blogging. Therefore my chances of become a published author and getting my copyrights bought out by a major studio, only to have my work butchered into repetitious tidbits by Hollywood director/screenwriter Nora Ephron have greatly increased. Or not. Either way, this movie was awful.

But, why, you ask, would I think of such a thing? After all, this movie poses itself as a wholesome time-waster for those escaping their own reality. The story of a married women searching for something other than the dead end job she’s dealt herself and living with a lethargic, non-apologetic husband. A person who never completed anything, but is surrounded by those who have accomplished, wishing for more. What better than to blog about the uselessness of your life in the vain hopes of reaching out to millions? Unfortunately, for this cynic at least, it worked.

Julie works for some cell of the US government that sounds like it needs to be lanced. Apparently, she answers angry phone calls. Sucks, huh? Answering phone calls from angry/upset people, listening to their situations and then reacting. Fucking awful. Sounds like every other job in the history of telephones. Telephones were invented so people could call others to complain about something or another, so why should I pity her shitty job? Everyone with access to a phone does this shit work, but not everyone cries like my daughter falling from the couch about it. They just DO it.

Continuing. Seeking do to something, Julie decides to cook all 524 (?) recipes in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which, apparently, changed cooking forever,* all in one year and blog about every one of them.

As you guessed, she does it and with very few road bumps along the way. She cooks all the recipes, drops the occasional duck or whatever, gets in the obligatory marital fight (over fucking NOTHING. Fun fact: Julie Powell had an affair after the publication of the book but before the making of the movie. Maybe if Nora Ephron could have written a better script, this marital fight would’ve been more believable), and lives happily ever after as a writer of sorts…we’ll see.

The only redeeming factor of this movie, which pushes my Netflix rating to two stars rather than one, is Julia Child’s story. Meryl Streep is in prime form and was a very convincing Julia Child. Stanley Tucci looks like every other role he’s ever played, but gotta love him. This section of the movie is good. It has real conflict, which makes drama, and interesting characters, but it does not tie into Julie’s story whatsoever. These two different movies, much like my thoughts, are so disconnected that little sense can be made of either of them.

In three words: don’t see it (contraction counts as ONE word asshole!). You won’t be the better for it and soon you’ll find yourself becoming that which you hate: a bitter old man of twenty-seven writing your own blog about how much you hates movies about blogs.

Last note that REALLY should turn you off. The final title of the film, the ones that tell you what has happened to the main characters before the staff credits, mention QUOTE “Her story has been made into a movie.” Really? I didn’t see that! Maybe it was somewhere between the opening title and the ending! Maybe I was driven unconscious from the unrelenting boredom.

* Though Top Ramen Original Flavor still tastes the same as Top Ramen Beef Flavor

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